So I scrubbed it, reimplemented it using some researched design patterns. Realised that I was essentially inventing a language, so tried using XML, and finding mono was segfaulting all over the place. If the latest mono isn't happy with XML unity's version which is a little older certainly won't.

So I've designed a parser for a simple language, much like command.com of old. It will use classes to implement commands, and is not Turing complete (yet anyways).

This is frustrating, I want to get on with the fun stuff already.